When people get angry at you for doing something you have no choice in doing, that hurts. Anger can be taken, shrugged off, and forgotten (most of the time.) but when they look at you with disappointment, that you failed them in some way, and then walk away with a lowered opinion of you; that hurt lasts longer and is not easy to forget.
So, when the store you work at is experiencing a theft rate that is negatively effecting it’s business, the store has to make changes. One change is having a re-worked system at the door to make sure some of the customers are not stealing or make sure the cashiers didn’t forget to ring an item up as well as check the receipts of associates who are leaving their shifts for the day. The job then goes like this: great the customers, help them, help with returns, if they have large items or items not in a bag then check the receipt, and then thank them for shopping.
What makes this different from how the position was before, is how customers react to it. It’s a 50/50 response: either they understand why we are doing the job and walk away with no sweat, or they look at me with anger, venom, or disappointment like I enjoy doing this. Well, here’s a reality check: I DON’T! I hate having to check receipts and take the hits for security that the store follows because a few shoplifters. Up to this point, I have been fine with it. I can handle anger. I have worked for the company for seven years, all to pay for college, and I have dealt with much worse. Last night though, was different.
My shift was coming to an end and I just had to finish on a good note. One customer comes forward with a large play pen for a baby that looked used since the box was open. I ask for the receipt, he hands me the receipt but then asks this: “do you know what you are doing? Do you know it’s illegal?” I don’t understand why he asked that and that’s when the situation changed. He said asking for a receipt was the same as searching. A person commits searching when they believe someone else is doing something illegal. He bought the item so it was now legally his, so by asking for the receipt I was guilty of searching when the whole point is to see if the cashier scanned the item. But the way he looked at me, his anger at the store and at me for doing my job. He was calling me a criminal.
Do any of you know what that is like? Being called a criminal for just doing one small part of my job, a part I despise. It is a kind of disappointment that makes a beating feel like a warm blanket. Before this receipt thing was started, customers said I was the nicest door greeter they knew. Now, I probably seem like a two faced asshole who likes to assume everyone is in the wrong.
What’s worse, I hate myself for doing this. I don’t like this but I have no choice. I need the money to support myself through graduate school so I will deal with it. Once I am done with school, have a job within the field I want to do, and start my professional life, then I am done. I’ve served my time in retail hell, I’ve earned my way.
I’m sorry if this journal seems out of character for me it’s just...I just needed to vent. So, sorry if I am bitching, belly aching, nagging or just acting whiny. I just needed to let it out. I’ll try to reserve these journals for different more lighter material. As for me, I’m taking a me day today. Not doing anything but relaxing.
Hope you all have a great day, thanks for listening, and until next time.
Good Bye for Now.